Women’s Issues

Please Don’t Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Kathy StevensonLeave a comment

(This column, from 6/4/92, was in The Beach Reporter newspaper.)

I know this will sound blasphemous, but I think that baseball is the most boring game in the world to watch. Actually, I guess that’s not completely true. Golf and bowling are more boring to watch. But baseball is right up there.

I used to go to the occasional Dodger game and pretend to be having a good time. But Picture Day at Dodger Stadium last summer did me in for good.

We started out for the stadium, a happy family of four, looking forward to a pleasant day at Dodger Stadium. We came home not speaking to one another and needing extensive family counseling.

The fun starts when you try to get into the parking lot. Six lines of cars inching their way up a steep hill to pay for parking is not my idea of fun. Especially if you are married to someone who always thinks the line next to you is moving faster, and cuts back and forth to save maybe thirty seconds of time.

I had envisioned Picture Day as described in the media literature: “A great opportunity for the whole family to take photos of their favorite players on the field.” My young son, the ultimate baseball fan, would actually get to meet his favorite players up close and personal, and snap a few photos for his baseball album. Not. Continue reading →

The Real Differences Between Men and Women

Kathy StevensonLeave a comment

(Originally published as a column in The Beach Reporter.)

There is one thing that has always bothered me about the movement for equality of the sexes. It amazes me that people think that men and women are basically the same creatures, and that we should keep striving for a sort of unisex utopia.

I applaud the gains women have achieved as a result of the women’s movement. I’m happy that men are more involved with their families, and are encouraged to open up more emotionally. It’s wonderful that men and women can exchange some of their best traits, hopefully becoming more well-rounded, fulfilled individuals.

But the basic fact is that men and women ARE different. There are certain traits common to each sex that have been genetically predetermined, and no political or social force is likely to change this. Continue reading →

The Home Tour

Kathy StevensonLeave a comment

(This essay appeared in my essay collection Lake Forest Moments.)

One of the very best things to do in Lake Forest is to go on a home tour. Home tours are held frequently – you could probably go to one every couple of months or so – and since they are always presented under the auspices of raising money for a philanthropic cause, you never have to feel guilty about the fact that basically you are there to snoop around someone else’s house.

After nearly ten years of going on home tours here, you’d think it would get a bit repetitive, but there is an amazing and unique aspect to Lake Forest that strikes you when you are deciding whether to sign up for a home tour. I have rarely toured the same home twice. Which means that basically there must be an unlimited number of fabulous homes to visit. As my friend Diane and I like to sigh, “So many mansions, so little time…”

The overwhelming majority of home tour aficionados are women. You see the occasional male spouse now and then, but he always looks as though he’d rather be having dental surgery. And who can blame him. Just like women don’t see the value of, say, ice fishing, men just don’t get why you would want to pay to walk around and look at someone else’s stuff. Continue reading →

Friendship Is A Sheltering Tree

Kathy StevensonLeave a comment

(This essay appeared in my essay collection Lake Forest Moments.)

I had known for nearly a year that my dear friend Diane would be moving as soon as her husband Jim got a job offer. A casualty of banking industry restructuring, Jim, at 52, was interviewing all over the country. We hoped they would remain in the Chicago area, but the chances of that seemed less and less likely as the months went by.

Like most corporate wives, Diane knew the drill. Be glad for the job opportunity, put a smile on your face, pack up your grandmother’s china again (minus the creamer that got broken in the last move), dispense a few hugs, shed some tears, and don’t look back. Even in this era of two-career couples, far more wives move because of the job opportunities of their husbands, than husbands do for their wives.
And move, they do. As a past President of our community’s Newcomers’ group, I saw firsthand the different ways women cope with transplantation. The gender make-up of our group speaks volumes to this issue – we always average around 500 members – all women. Women hoping to make new connections, women needing phone numbers for dentists and pre-schools. Women who remark lightly during their first coffee, “We’ve moved so many times, I have boxes this time that I never unpacked in the first move.” We all nod in sympathy, recognizing that casual tone of voice for what underlies it – acceptance, denial, and a reaching out toward those with a shared experience.

Continue reading →