(Originally published in Main Line Life 9/18/08)

I recently had the opportunity to go on a short trip to a place where I would not have access to a television for several days. After I leaned over and hyperventilated into a paper bag for a few moments, I thought Yes, I can do this. It’s not even that I am that big of a TV watcher in my normal life. Normal life, that is, before this primary and election season. (Was there such a time? Truly?) Even though I have my office in my home I have never once turned on The View or The Today Show. I have never seen a soap opera in my entire life, and I don’t even know what time Oprah is on.

However, I do love politics. And, as much as I love knowing everything about the candidates and want to make an informed decision, right now I am on Election Overload. I never thought I would say this, but I’ve just about had enough of all of them – the candidates, the pundits, the spinners, the handlers, the talking heads, the anchors, the special commentators, the candidates’ families, jilted candidates from years past, jilted ex-wives, outright kooks, former Army buddies/college roommates, Hollywood activists, and the pollsters. Especially the pollsters.

I am especially horrified to be part of a demographic that the entire fate of the free world hinges upon – the dreaded fifty-five year-old white woman. The funny thing is, I used to be completely invisible, but now all the sudden everyone is talking about me! They want me, they really want me!

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(Originally published in the Baltimore Sun in 2004)

One thing I pride myself on, as I navigate the rocky shoals of mid-life, is that so far I have avoided the many anxiety disorders that pop up in the news every day. Sometimes I wish I could pin my failings on an anxiety disorder, but in all honesty, I know my bad traits are just that – I can’t blame them on anything chemical, genetic, or hormonal.

Finally, though, I may be able to claim an anxiety that is truly caused by an outside force beyond my control. I’ll call it Voter Anxiety Disorder, or VAD.

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(Originally published in The Beach Reporter on 10/19/89 – Yes, for real… I haven’t changed a word; just sayin’)

I stretched and and yawned and looked out my bedroom window. It looked like it was going to be a beautiful day in the United States of Trump, the kind of day Donald himself loved.

Let me quote from The Sayings of Donald Trump (1995, Trump Publishing): “There are certain days when the sky takes on a cerulean blue, the ozone layer is in perfect alignment, and my personal astrologer calls and tells me my planets and constellations are in a favorable position. Those are the days when I know that the leveraged buyout I am attempting will work. Those are the days I live for.”

That’s the kind of day it was. HRH Trump always expresses everything so succinctly. Continue reading →