Bloom (a short-short story)

Kathy StevensonLeave a comment

(Published today in the online literary journal Cease, Cows. Read below or follow link.)

http://ceasecows.com/

BLOOM

She had been waiting nearly a year for her pass to the Repository, or the Repo as most people called it. The line was long, as all lines were now, but it was moving. Her senses yearned toward the building itself, as it housed so much that she had almost forgotten. People her daughter’s age had lost nearly all of those memories because they had been so young when these things had disappeared.

The disappearance had been gradual. In the day-to-day, one thing slipped away, then another, but it was never enough at one time to cause true alarm. It was more of an erosion, grain-by-grain of something solid that had always been there. One day you noticed something was half-gone, then it was not there. Continue reading →

Philadelphia Quirks

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(Published in the Philadelphia Inquirer on 5/24/06 – when I lived in the suburbs of Philadelphia.)

Being a relative newcomer to the Philadelphia environs – I’ve only lived here about three years – I feel that I am uniquely qualified to report on my observations of some of the more singular peculiarities of life here. I’ve also lived for long stretches of time in Colorado, southern California, and the Chicago area, and all of those places have their own idiosyncrasies. But Philadelphians and their suburban counterparts exhibit behaviors that seem to be theirs, and theirs alone.

Kissing as a means of greeting – The strangest social custom I’ve had to get used to here is that people kiss when they meet instead of shaking hands. In southern California, where you would think people would be kissing all over the place, a jaunty little wave or casual head nod is used when greeting someone. And in the Midwest, a firm handshake with a direct gaze into the eyes is the standard salutation. But here, once you have been introduced to someone, they become your kissin’ cousin. I have tried my best to adjust, but I am still startled every time someone lunges at me and plants one on my cheek (even air kisses seem to be rare). Hasn’t anyone around here ever heard of the Surgeon General’s report on how not to spread germs? Continue reading →

Paris Fashions Don’t Cater to Real People

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(A Beach Reporter column from 5/12/90.)

The word is out. At the recent Paris fashion shows for the fall collections of the big designers, the buzz was hoods, velvet, and hardware. The hardware: chains interwoven into the fabric or on leather, or even chain mail. Are you as excited as I am? I know I’m going to rush right out and buy a chain mail vest for myself and a hooded velvet dinner jacket for my husband.

Let’s get real. Do the fashion giants honestly think the average guy is going to wear a velvet jacket with a hood? Sly Stallone, maybe, but he isn’t really average. For most men, the highlight of each seasonal fashion change is the arrival of the new L. L. Bean catalog. They order two new pairs of khaki twill pants and tan cargo walking shorts. The exact same ones every year. They will not be wearing, “A pair of slim pants that hug the leg as they get closer to the ankle.”

The only hoods in clothing belong on sweatshirts. To keep your head warm. Or maybe bald men will buy into this hood thing, for obvious reasons. Maybe all the men who wear this stuff hang out at the Polo Lounge, wearing $500 loafers without socks. Continue reading →

More Column Ideas That Never Got Written

Kathy StevensonLeave a comment

(Originally published as a column in The Beach Reporter newspaper.)

Sometimes a writer has to do a sort of mental housekeeping. I like to clear my mind of all the clutter that has accumulated there, and believe me that is no small task. To aid in this task, I start with my notebooks. Like most writers I have little notebooks scattered about in my purse, on my nightstand, and on my desk. The reason I have these notebooks is that if I don’t write down my brilliant ideas when they come to me in the full force of their vision, they will depart as quickly as they came, and I will never be able to summon them back.

The result of all this random scribbling is that after a while, I have all these spiral notebooks filled with the strangest sentences, one-liners, and full paragraphs that try to capture the essence of something that struck a chord in me. I used to think this was an odd personal quirk until I started reading interviews of other writers who claim to have this same habit. And since many of these writers are famous and successful, I decided this trait was one to be embraced rather than stifled.

And in that spirit… I would like to share some of my jottings from some recent notebooks – let’s call them essay ideas that never made it to the big time. You will soon see why. Continue reading →