Women’s Issues

Waiting Tables: Crash Course in Life 101

Kathy Stevenson2 Comments

(Originally published in The Beach Reporter on 11/1/90.)

Some experiences in life you may leave behind, but they never leave you. I was reminded of this the other evening when I attended a reunion for former employees of a restaurant I once worked at: Orville & Wilbur’s Steakhouse.

It may seem a little strange that a restaurant would hold a reunion for its past employees. But if you had ever worked at O & W’s you would understand.

I had just graduated from college in December 1975. My boyfriend (now husband) and I had just moved to Manhattan Beach from Laguna Beach. He had accepted a job as a sales rep for Xerox in downtown L. A. and we needed to be closer to the city.

I didn’t have a job, a car, or two nickels to rub together, but as a recent college graduate I was certain those minor details would take care of themselves. Ah, the optimism of youth. Continue reading →

Proms of Days Gone By

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(I originally shared this essay on a blog I had about five years ago.)

T. S. Eliot was surely not thinking about the prom when he wrote “…there is only the dance.” But for many young women and their moms at this time of year, there couldn’t be a truer statement. For our purposes, we might say “there is only the prom,” and the prom goes on forever. In most high schools, it goes on every weekend in April and May, and even into June.

In my unique and totally weird position as the headmaster’s wife, (weird in that no one who knows me can remotely imagine me in this role), I have actually been to the prom for the past eight years. This is a completely unnatural thing to do as an adult. My husband, the headmaster, and I actually get dressed up like we are prom dates – he in a tuxedo, me in whatever in my closet is clean. Unlike my teenage counterparts I do not do get a manicure, pedicure, highlights, hair extensions, new dress and shoes, or any type of waxing. I do not go to a tanning bed or go on a diet to fit into my dress. I do not have to worry about whether or not I will sleep with my date. This is actually quite liberating. Continue reading →

A Mom’s Beach Day Wish Comes True

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(Originally published in the Christian Science Monitor, July 8, 1999)

It was one of those rare days at the beach. The humidity was low, the temperature hovered right around 80 degrees, the sky was washed with watercolor blues, and the flags snapped briskly over the boat harbor. Lake Michigan was quiet and waveless, and even the water temperature had risen above the frigid level to merely bone-chilling.

So what was wrong with this picture?

Actually, everything was right. I had finally reached that nirvana of motherhood – that fantasyland that mothers of young children only dream of. My adolescent children, who had accompanied me to the beach, had run off with their friends as soon as we’d arrived. I was alone.
I could reach into my canvas beach bag and read a book or magazine uninterrupted. I could roll over and nap. I could buy myself an ice cream and not have to share it. I could float lazily on a raft, write a short story, reinvent my life. Continue reading →

The Fond Freshman Farewell

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(Originally published in the Philadelphia Inquirer on 9/2/2005)

I’m in full parental panic mode. Normally someone who dispatches life’s challenges with equanimity, the thought that my first child, a daughter, is leaving for college next week has paralyzed me with doubt and fear. I haven’t been this bad since those long-ago days when she was an infant and I used to go to her room several times every night, and put my cheek next to her mouth to make sure she was breathing.

The panic started when I attended a meeting at the high school that was supposed to alleviate my fears, and help me “transition” to this new stage in life. The guidance counselor had written out many tips to help us parents begin a thoughtful preparation, leading ultimately to an extra bedroom.

We were given such suggestions as “assessing living/survival skills of the child,” “sharing thoughts and feelings,” and my favorite “planning the farewell scene after dinner/lunch”. (My farewell plan involved hysterical sobbing, Godiva chocolate, and gin and tonics… but only for a week or so.)

Continue reading →