At What Point Do We Become Involved?

(This essay is reprinted here from a column I used to write for The Beach Reporter in Manhattan Beach, CA.  Even though I wrote it twenty-five years ago, it still seems appropriate to post.)

Living in a country where individual freedom is valued so highly is something most of us treasure. In the news every day are stories of individuals standing up for what they believe are their God-given rights. Presumably they are able to do so because of the democratic system we operate under.

The individual right to choose a religion, to choose where we want to live, to marry or have sexual relations with whomever we choose, to carry a picket sign against the spraying of malathion. These are all rights that we as individuals take for granted.

Of course, individual rights are not left completely up to man’s will.  As a society we do recognize that there must be laws and rules governing some of our actions. These laws are carried out on the premise that they are for the “common good.” Such laws as those prohibiting minors from purchasing alcohol or operating motor vehicles, preventing people from purchasing firearms on a whim, or preventing us from raising roosters in our yards are agreed on by consensus.

Then there is a gray area. A big gray area. In fact, the whole issue of individual rights could be regarded as a gray area. As some would say, “Your individual rights end at my front yard.” Continue reading

Falling Through the Cracks

(An original essay, published here for the first time.)

At a dinner party recently, I was seated next to a complete stranger, as one often is at these things, and between the soup and the main course we neatly segued onto the topic of our families. It’s sort of a natural progression, I’ve noticed, fueled by abnormally close quarters, free-flowing wine, and the likelihood that you will probably never see the person again.

Once we dispensed with our immediate families (spouses and what they “do,” along with our children and their unique categories of genius) it was only natural that we branched out further. This segment usually begins with something like, “So, where did you grow up?” Or, “Tell me about your parents and siblings.”

The reason I even mention this dinner party scenario, is that I have caught myself, on more than one occasion, in response to this birth family question, stating rather vaguely that one or more of my family members have “fallen through the cracks.” If my dinner partner is smart, he or she will realize that this statement (coupled with my sudden prolonged fascination with my glass of wine) is a hint to move along to a safer topic, like health care or climate change.

Continue reading

An American Pastime

(This essay originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune soon after Bill Clinton’s affairs were revealed.  I hesitated reprinting this, because I am a Hillary supporter, and don’t want to pile on her in any way.  However…  It’s Bill that was at fault, as alluded to in this essay.)

Let’s say you are reading the newspaper one fine spring morning, when your eye falls upon a small news item from your community. Let’s say that the news item concerns someone we will call the Baseball Coach. The Baseball Coach has just been arrested for molesting a 12 year-old girl. He is in jail in lieu of a $100,000 bond.

Let’s say you know the Baseball Coach. You thought he was a nice guy – a paragon among baseball coaches. He coached your own son, who is sitting across from you at this moment, eating his breakfast and reading the Sports section. You have involuntarily gasped in disbelief and shock upon reading the news item, and your son wants to know what is the matter. What could be so terrible? Is it something President Clinton did again?

No, that’s not it, you say. You only have a moment to weigh things in your mind. Should you tell your son about the Baseball Coach, or just brush it aside? You know nothing could have happened to him… Not your child. Continue reading