Family

In Denial Over Bathing Suit Season

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(Originally published in the Philadelphia Inquirer on 5/19/07.)

The most dreaded time of year is almost upon us. No, I’m not talking about the holidays that stretch in an eternal loop from Halloween through New Year’s Day, although I’m sure we’ll all be getting gift catalogs soon.

I’m referring to something even more harrowing. I’m talking about bathing suit season. Now, don’t get me wrong – I love summer. Summer is actually my very favorite time of year. There’s nothing I enjoy more than plopping myself on the beach for the day with a good novel and a thermos of iced tea. The problem is that in order to really enjoy the beach (or the pool) you have to wear a bathing suit.

I usually begin my annual search for a new swimsuit just before spring break. At that point, since I haven’t seen the sun in about seven months, my skin tone is somewhere between anemic and pasty. I’m afraid to go to the tanning salon in the winter months because of skin cancer, although as my sister Avis points out, I think nothing of baking out in the sun at the beach for hours on end. Sisters can be so annoying at times.

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My Probable Life, As I Choose To See It

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(Most of the essays I share on this website have been previously published, but here’s a rare one that I never sent out…)

The following events, as depicted in my upcoming memoir, may or may not have happened depending on your definition of absolute truth, imagination, the art of possibility, memory repression, literary license, embellishment, Oprah-baiting, or telling lies for money.

…..I may or may not have eaten all the chocolate frosting off my birthday cake when I was four years old and all of my relatives were in the back yard getting drunk.
…..All of my relatives have drinking problems.
…..I drink, but it’s not a problem.

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Proms of Days Gone By

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(I originally shared this essay on a blog I had about five years ago.)

T. S. Eliot was surely not thinking about the prom when he wrote “…there is only the dance.” But for many young women and their moms at this time of year, there couldn’t be a truer statement. For our purposes, we might say “there is only the prom,” and the prom goes on forever. In most high schools, it goes on every weekend in April and May, and even into June.

In my unique and totally weird position as the headmaster’s wife, (weird in that no one who knows me can remotely imagine me in this role), I have actually been to the prom for the past eight years. This is a completely unnatural thing to do as an adult. My husband, the headmaster, and I actually get dressed up like we are prom dates – he in a tuxedo, me in whatever in my closet is clean. Unlike my teenage counterparts I do not do get a manicure, pedicure, highlights, hair extensions, new dress and shoes, or any type of waxing. I do not go to a tanning bed or go on a diet to fit into my dress. I do not have to worry about whether or not I will sleep with my date. This is actually quite liberating. Continue reading →

Learning Valuable Camp Skills at Camp Eucalyptus

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(Originally published in the Beach Reporter, in Manhattan Beach, CA on 8/27/92.)

It was with great trepidation that we set out for Camp Eucalyptus on a hot summer Saturday morning. My two co-leaders for Brownie Troop No. 569, and I, were to devote an entire day to learning basic camping skills so that we might pass that knowledge along to our little urban-dwelling Brownies.

I didn’t bother doing my nails the night before, and I certainly didn’t wear any makeup. I was there to get down and dirty – and down and dirty we got.

Camp Eucalyptus is a patch of urban wilderness set down smack-dab in the middle of El Segundo. After years of living in the area, I never even knew it was there.

It’s an official Girl Scout campground and is available for both for training leaders, and for actual camp-outs for troops. We wondered about the barbed wire running along the fence top, though, and would we really want to camp right under the holding pattern for planes at LAX? Continue reading →